Disciplining an unruly teenager is arguably one of the hardest things that parents go through while parenting.
Teenagers are notoriously ill-mannered as they seek to explore different things in their lives; some of which may pose serious threat to them as well as other people. These include actions such as drunken driving and drug abuse. The several ideas on how to discipline your unruly teenager are such as:
Take a look at the tips below. They will help you out.
Understand your teenage son/daughter
One of the reasons why teenagers tend to be hard headed is because they feel that their parents do not understand them or the reasons why they make some choices in their lives. As a parent, you should take time to understand him/her including their way of thinking, interests in life, and goals & expectations.
After you understand your teenage child, it becomes easy to determine the most efficient method of instilling discipline and responsibility in the teenager.
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Strengthen your relationship with the teenager
Teenagers may become unruly and disrespectful to their parents if there is very little connection and bonding between them and the parents.
However, this should not be the case as your teenage child should feel free to talk to you about anything. The only way to ensure that this happens is by strengthening the relationship you have with your son and daughter.
When you enjoy a cordial relationship with him/her, it becomes easy to correct and discipline them without any hostility from the teenagers.
Set rules and consequences
When there is no hostility between you and your teenage son/daughter, you should use this opportunity to set rules and consequences for breaking the rules. Make your teenage child understand that feeling angry is not wrong but there are inappropriate and unacceptable ways of expressing the anger.
Some of the consequences you should put in place when the teenager breaks the rules you have set include loss of privileges, grounding or police involvement in case he/she becomes extreme.
Be on the lookout for warning signs and triggers of anger
Which are the signs that indicate that your teenage son/daughter has looming anger and is bound to explode at any time?
Does he appear disturbed of experience headaches right before exploding?
You also need to be observant of the situations that seem to trigger anger in the teenager. When you understand the likely causes of anger in the teenager, it becomes easy to address the triggers before they make him explode with anger and become unruly.
Be the parent not the teen’s equal
It is quite hard for your teenage son/daughter to respect you or take you seriously unless you show him/her that you are the parent not their equal.
Avoid trying to befriend the teen in a way that may make him/her undermine his/her respect for you. If your teen’s behavior is unruly and disrespectful, you should not shy off from disciplining the teen regardless of how he/she will react.
Most people who take on the wrong paths in life such as murderers and thieves were not disciplined appropriately in their teenage lives. Make the teen realize that he/she has a responsibility over their live to make it better and worthwhile.
Take control of the situation
As a parent, you are responsible for not only your life but that of your children as well.
When you have an unruly teen at home, the best thing to do is exercise tough love for him/her by not being excessively protective of their feelings and actions. With this kind of love, it becomes easy for the parent to set strict rules and far reaching consequences that will prompt the teen to change their behaviors.
Enforce a curfew
At no one time should you let your teen come back any time of the night, even at the dead of the night. If he/she wants to live in your house, then the teen should be ready to abide by your rules and provisions on the time to come back.
As such, you should set a curfew that highlights the latest time that the teen can be allowed to come back at home at night. Usually, curfews are enforced to ensure that teens are home safe and do not end up endangering their lives by staying out too late.
Have them pay for any extra luxuries they want at home
If you have a spoilt teen that cannot eat the food that the rest of you in the family are eating or can’t cope with the luxuries that you can afford for the family, have them pay for the extras through their own cash.
Providing your teen with whatever he/she asks for even though unnecessary will only make him more spoiled and very expensive to maintain.
If your teen wants the latest smartphone or a more expensive possession like a car and you can’t afford it, have the teen work for their money to buy the item of choice. This helps to bring about a feeling of gratitude and appreciation for the things that you have provided for your teen.
Withdraw cooperation
When your teen seems very determined to have their way, you should withdraw cooperation and let them understand your approach and outlook on issues.
You should let the child understand that life is always a give-take situation. For instance, if your teen seems to be misbehaving quite often, you can dare him/her that you will cease providing a particular service like driving him/her to school if he/she does not change.
Never relent on any consequence
When you set a consequence as a punishment for ill behaviors or breaking a rule, you should never relent on the consequence no matter how harsh it may be.
This is quite important in that it helps the teen in understanding that you are serious and mean what you say. This will prompt him/her to quit all types of misbehaving and become responsible. It is worth noting that consequences work best when the punishment is unbearable and has far reaching effects.
Wrapping up
Parenting does not stop at any stage in a child’s life. Even when your teen progresses to early adulthood, you as the parent have the responsibility of ensuring that he makes the right decisions and leads a productive life.
Even as your teen continues to be active, inquisitive and explorative about life, you should ensure that he/she does that in a way that is safe and responsible.
